1. The mailman
This is an extremely generous guy. He loves to deliver packages — in all shapes and sizes. You may receive these packages day or night — 6 a.m. or 2 p.m. In the middle of a class or even at church on Sunday morning. In fact, you may be minding your own business when you get a message notification. You open it, and there it is. His package. Unwrapped. Unsolicited. No one enjoys receiving unsolicited pictures, gentlemen. If she didn’t ask for it — which is probably the case 95 percent of the time — she didn’t want to see it. Men, please stop doing this.
2. The ‘that’s not my ___’ guy
This is the guy who posts pictures to his profile with other girls but says “Don’t worry! She’s not my girlfriend.” He may post pictures with her including her kids but says “Hold on! They don’t belong to me.” He may even stoop low enough to post pictures with cute puppies, but — much to your disappointment — he’ll clarify they don’t belong to him on the unfortunate occasion that you match. This guy is confusing, Why would you put yourself in a position to clarify things to a stranger? Avoid him — and his confusing traits — at all costs.
3. The catfish
While it is sad, the majority of the time, if a guy seems too good to be true, he is. This is the guy with photoshopped abs who says he has a “great job” and probably only has one or two pictures of himself on his profile. If he makes plans, he’ll cancel them. If he’s bold enough to actually show up, you’ll probably cry when you realize he doesn’t actually look like… that. To quote Max Joseph from Catfish on MTV, “This is the kind of scum that gives the internet a bad name.” Ladies and gentlemen, be careful out there.
4. The insta-marrige guy
This guy moves quick. It’s honestly tragic if you think about it. This guy is desperate for a relationship. You get a weird vibe from him — considering he probably compliments you way too much. He’s the type of guy who wants to meet the second you match. If you happen to meet this guy, the second you leave he’ll already be texting you. If you can put up with this weird level of commitment from a stranger, he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend the second time you’re alone with him. I can’t stress this enough people: RUN.
5. The dateline guy
Let’s face the facts, meeting people on the internet is always risky. This guy will raise every red flag there is and if you see it, don’t ignore it. There are a lot of really scary and charismatic dudes out there — hello, Ted Bundy. You’ll feel uncomfortable around this guy. No one wants to end up buried in a barrel in someone’s backyard or sold into human trafficking. Share your location with your friends. Don’t go anywhere without telling someone. Stay in public places — don’t let a stranger know where you live. Be smart, and happy swiping!